Why I Am So Much Smarter Than The Rest Of The World

Hi again, all you rabid fans. It is now time for my much anticapated post about why I am (apparently) so much smarter than most of the rest of the world's population.

First, off, regardless of what impression you get from my title, I really don't consider myself to be of above average intelligence. Nor do I necessarily consider the rest of you out there to be any less intelligent. This post deals with my (sort of) constant frustration with the terrible lack of common sense in this day and age.

I'm sure that most of you have heard of the famous legal case in which a woman(?) sued McDonald's after she was burned by spilling fresh, piping-hot, McDonald's coffee on herself. Which raises (at least to me) the question-What mental incapacity was she suffering from which prevented her from expecting HOT coffee? I realise that now Frappuccino (though I'm not entirely sure I spelled it right) and other cold coffee products are readily available, but, the last time I checked, McDonald's wasn't selling any. And definately not at that time.

The point being- If you order coffee, it's probably gonna be hot. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. (at least I figured it out, and I'm definately not one)

Second case in point- All the ridiculous warning labels that are included with who knows what all. On microwaveable meals-Product may be hot after cooking. (Wow, really? That's what cooking does?) With a pocketkinfe-Caution-Blades may be very sharp. (well, I did buy a pocketknife, not a letter-opener) With an iron-Do not iron clothes while wearing them. (I can only imagine what prompted that one) With a pack of guitar strings-Warning-strings can be used to strangle. Do not attempt to hang yourself with them. (ok, I made the last one up, but you get the idea) And, unfortunately, simple logic dictates that, since there was a need to put a warning label on the product, someone has probably tried it, thereby necessitating the label.

And, in my area of expertise, cars- Power windows that will stop when they encounter a little resistance. (whatever happened to just not putting your fingers in the window when you're putting it up. Let a few people dumb enough to try it do it a time or two, and I'd be willing to bet they won't do it again) Or safety switches that won't let you take the car out of Park or Neutral with out stepping on the brake. Or more safety switches that won't let you start a manual transmission car without pushing in the clutch. And all sorts of other extreme safety measures.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't wish for ANYONE AT ALL to be injured, maimed, hurt, killed, or whatever. BUT, I do think that if one or two people would find out the hard way, you would have far fewer idiots who would be dumb enough to try it again.

That's how I learned a lot of things-either by someone telling me why I shouldn't do something or sometimes finding out the hard way. Like don't grab an electric fence. (or pee on it, though I haven't tried that one) Be careful about touching spark plug wires on a running engine. (a bad plug wire will light you up pretty good) Or be careful not to put your fingers in a running fan on a car. (scraped knuckles can be very painful for a few days)

Now, I guess that many of the warning labels and safety measures have saved lives and probably saved numerous people from injury, but I also think that they have served to create a generation of poeple who don't have the life experience to give them common sense. Just read the Darwin Awards sometime if you don't believe me. (I believe you can find them at www.darwinawards.com) Not that the lack of common sense in most people doesn't give the rest of us some great entertainment.

And, actually, there may be another explanation as well. Recently, I was talking to a customer who is a principal at a local elementary school. He told me something I thought was very interesting. He said that in years past, people who were considered educated had a rudimentary knowledge of many, many subjects. Lots and lots of general knowledge. Now, educated people have about the same amount of knowledge, but it's very specialized. For example, a historian has lots of specific knowledge about history, but not necessarily much about the arts. Or a businessman has a lot of knowledge about how business works, but not necessarily much about how a computer works. And so on. Therefore, most people don't have a great amount of general knowledge anymore. An intiguing thought.

So, what to do about all this? I have a few suggestions- First, develop your common sense. For example, it's probably not a good idea to stick your finger in your bicycle chain. (or fan, can opener, or whatever) And, if you do, please learn from your mistakes VERY QUICKLY. Second, share your stupid (or blonde, or whatever) moments with others. Maybe you can keep them from making the same mistake. (or at least entertain them) Third, get lots of life experience so you learn a little MORE common sense. (try touching the stovetop first before the burner and see if you learn anything and see if you still want to touch the burner afterwards)

There you go. What do you think? Do you have any great blonde moments to share? If you send them to me, I might post some later so both of my readers can laugh at you. And maybe learn from your mistakes.

Until next time......